And so I go out on to the street, walk through the center and think I can’t say that I feel good, but I feel… less annoyed. And suddenly I realized – they’ve finally taken down the horrible New Year decorations!! There aren’t any more blue trees, red waves, pink stars, green moons and other weird things. Old noble Petersburg has emerged from the nightmare of the “merry lights”, looking somewhat the worse for wear.

The most surprising thing is that in Moscow, which is considered to be tasteless and vulgar, created by the people who have come to settle there from remote places, there was nothing resembling our New Year kitsch. I saw it with my own eyes. The streets and avenues were festooned with garlands and white and blue lights. There were no garish colors, no rainbow-colored electric “Chupa Chups” fountains, let alone the aesthetic nightmare of red and blue combined. Even in mercantile Moscow people understand that the streets are already crowded with advertising and billboards, and if you add tasteless state decorations to the private sector, our megalopolises will finally turn into an electrical hell.

But never mind the lights – Moscow still has the Eliseivsky store! It’s where it has always been, on Tverskaya, and groceries are still sold to people, and the old design has remained. But here, there is a permanent revolution, and our Eliseivsky store is not needed. It stands there abandoned, with empty windows. And where is the Red Book of Petersburg, where I recall that Valentina Matvienko asked to include establishments that are sacred for city residents, which the city administration will never alter? What did they write in it? (Incidentally, it is hard to understand where these people who still live in the center get their food from, if Nevsky, Liteiny, Vladimirsky … or another street … don’t have normal grocery stores).

Let’s go to find other surprises. Yury Luzhkov announced that despite any “theater reforms”, not a single theater would be closed in his city. And the mayor of Moscow usually keeps his word. It’s not much, but it’s pleasing to know that at least the theaters will still be there. Perhaps the quality of theaters may often leave a lot to be desired, but if the theaters stay there, there is at least some chance that they will improve. But if repertory theaters are closed down, it will be hard to improve them. The reaction of the Petersburg authorities to the first sounds of “theater reforms” (I can’t even begin to describe the point of them, they are so poorly thought out and pointless) is very alarming. I think the administration simply does not know what the situation is. Especially as their main figures are not known for attending any cultural events whatsoever. They don’t even go to watch ice-skating. What do they know about theaters…

Yes, the classical opposition of Moscow and Petersburg needs to be reviewed at least once every five years. The opposition remains. But its nature is gradually changing. Today you can say with some reservations that the capital is becoming more sensible, and its authorities are becoming more “cultured”, as far as this is possible in the present historical conditions, of course.

Whether Petersburg is sensible is open to question. Correct decisions seem to be made – always with some delay, and very sleepily – but they are implemented badly, if at all. But time marches on, young people mature, mature people become old, and life remains uncomfortable, confused, dirty, wrong and ugly. Few things that we actually need have been built. The buildings in the city are collapsing, and the bright lights are evidently supposed to conceal this fact and make us forget the constant dirt on the sidewalks, the forgotten garbage containers which are not emptied very often, and the miserable appearance of official buildings, from hospitals to clinics to passport offices, about the fact that energetic people get as far away as they can from the Petersburg swamp, where smart people can’t make money, about the chronic negligence, misery and psychological lethargy which overcomes almost every Petersburger over the age of 40.

The New Year decorations in Petersburg resembled an elderly and grubby woman who has put a few fir necklaces on. When she took them off, she didn’t look any cleaner, but at least the feeling of ridiculousness and misery went away. And just like Shvartz when he got the dirt out of his eye, I’m happy that this multicolored electric rubbish was removed.

Now I’d like to announce a competition: the ten most idiotic billboards in Petersburg. Send me your choice. Perhaps we can get rid of at least two or three of them? This would be another simple pleasure for us!